Not one of my best days...

So, today is one of those days.

First and foremost, I woke up later than the time I should've been at work. Yesterday I worked 17 hours on about 3 hours of sleep, so it's safe to say that I needed the rest. I jumped out of bed, called work and try to cancel my sidegig for Friday which would require for me to work another 17 hour day-I can't do it again, not twice in one week. 

About 10 minutes after I woke up I get a phone call from a friend, I took my anger out on my friend, mainly because this person didn't understand that I had to go. That 5 second spat helped ruin my day.

There's so much going on, and it's just overwhelming. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure what would be able to balance my life, no matter where I am or who I'm with- I find myself stressing everything.

I'm about to change my cell phone number, transfer from my job and try to cut everyone off, everyone that doesnt add positivity to my life! Not that I just have negative people in my life, but I can't help but feel somewhat used or cheap. What am I lacking? NOTHING- I had a perfect person in my  life that expected nothing more than my love, and I threw that away. I refuse to waste my time on anyone else, no one can live up to my expectations, and once I think that they have-they show me that they haven't and therefore are not worthy of my attention.

I read a good article this morning. In it I read that "Everyone woman deserves to be loved exclusively" and I know I deserve that.

I need a vacation, not a long expensive one, just a getaway- without my phone- just me alone. BUT, my house needs a few renovations, so a vacation probably wouldn't be the smartest thing for me to do. Maybe if I change my house enough I will love to stay home and relax in there.So maybe that's my next plan- fixing the house. Getting a couple of quotes from carpenters and getting the money to do what I want to do.

 So yea, let's see how the rest of the day goes...